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Odin

Odin's Journey

Odin

Freya and I Got Out

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Last Thursday I walked into work with the same heavy heart that I’ve been carrying around for the past 3 weeks. Odin’s surgeon was scheduled to come in to do a surgery on a small dog. I haven’t seen him since Odin passed and I don’t believe he knows about it. I dreaded telling him because of how guilty he felt about not seeing the mass when he did the knee surgery back in February. The surgery he was coming in for ended up being canceled for that day.

I donated Odin’s Heartgard to the client who gave me the card, but I still had his Frontline that was out of Freya’s weight range. I was able to find a client to donate it to. For some reason putting the box in the chart for the client to pick up really hit me hard. That familiar sting behind my eyes started up and the lump in my throat returned. After work I had an appointment with my therapist. The first one since Odin died. I’ve been seeing her for a while due to an on going battle with Post-partum depression, 2017 hasn’t been my year.

When I sat down, the first thing she asked me was how I had been. The tears beat my words. “Well, my dog died” is what I said. There was an uncomfortable silence that felt like it went on for hours, but really it was only a few seconds. We immediately dove into the grief and how to handle it as well as taking care of myself as far as the PPD goes.

It’s not fair to feel so lonely when I’m constantly surrounded by amazing people and my 2 other pups. I’ve went from not talking about Odin to not talking about him enough. I can now say his name without tears, but my heart aches every time. I miss petting him so much. I miss asking him for a kiss and him giving me one, it was always my favorite thing I trained him to do.

I took Freya over to her brother’s house on Saturday. She was beside herself when she saw him. The two of them ran and ran and ran. They wrestled and chased each other. I felt so good to see her in all her husky glory. Seeing her brother really helped me too. Hugging him and kissing him felt so good. It’s as if he knew Freya and I were both hurting. His mom and I sat in lounge chairs in the grass as the two of them played for 3 hours. When we got home Freya was completely exhausted. I’ve seen her light come back a little bit. I think she’s on the mend.

 

Freya and her brother Cheeto

Cheeto and Freya deciding to switch moms. Featuring: Cheeto’s beautiful blue eyes!

Odin’s custom urn I ordered should be shipping out this week so hopefully I’ll have it soon. I hope having a proper urn for him will bring some closure, but I had thought getting his ashes back would do that and it didn’t. I also thought that maybe the tattoo would bring some closure, but it didn’t. Maybe I just need all 3 things to happen and then I’ll feel better. Who knows at this point.


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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 12th, 2017 at 1:57 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

One Response to “Freya and I Got Out”

  1. benny55
    3:40 pm on September 12th, 2017      Reply

    So glad you posted. We understand like nomothers can. This part of the journey is just so darn hard and seems like it will never get better. You feel like you are stuck in that day he tra sitioned forever. You relive itnover and over and over and over and over and second vuess anything and everything about this journey. Yeah, we understand like no others can.

    And then you’ll have a brief moment where you smile because Odin “guided” you ti take Freya out for a playdate. Odin does things like that to remind you there are mome ts ahead where things will feel more “normal” and its of joy will start to creep into your day.

    We PROMKSE you happier days are ahead with wonderful memories of Odin and with your delightful Freya! Such a handsome doggy btw

    And who knows, at some point Odin will guide you towards another dog who needs to be loved and who needs to k ow what joy feels like. And it’s clear Freya is open to any buddy Odin may send!

    Just pay attention, okay? He’ll send you all sorts of signs!

    One thing you might do is simply foster a dog for a few weeks ro help Freya through the rough spots. May even help you too!

    We would love to hear more a put Odin when you can. Sometimes sharing the happy memories, with pictures of course, helps to remind you how really happy Odin was because of your love!!

    Anytime any of us see a ohoto of thst precious baby you can’t hel but smile.

    Surrounding you with the love of your tipawds family. We are ALWAYS here for you! We loved Odin too!

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

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