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Odin

Odin's Journey

Odin

Fall is officially here….

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Happy National Black Dog Day!

Last Sunday I decided to go over to my friend Hannah’s house who is the mom of Odin’s best friend Solomon. I felt seeing Solly would help ease some of the heartache that is still so very real. I hadn’t seen him in probably close to 2 years thanks to moving, a baby and Odin. I felt so good to see him lose his mind when I walked in. Solomon has gained a sister that I was able to finally meet. She definitely wanted to be the center of attention the entire visit, but Solomon got most of my love.

Tuesday night was rough. It was like everything hit me all over again. I realized that my mind keeps telling me that Odin has just gone away for a while and then I realize he’s not coming back. That night was one of those moments. I can’t pin point exactly why it happened, but it was hard. Seeing his empty dish, the meds in the cupboard when I took a tupperware out, looking at my necklace with his ID tag on it when I set it on my night stand; it all killed me. I spent a good hour scrolling through pictures of him wishing I could scratch his head. I’m still feeling really lost with out him.

I framed a picture of him and his paw print for my office. Now there is a piece of him in there when I’m working on my random stuff. My husband ran the Twin Cities Marathon today. It was cold, rainy and miserable, but also refreshing. I don’t know why, but breathing in the cold air of Fall is therapeutic in a way. I never feel like I can breathe when the air is thick and humid. I’ve been able to get through the day without crying now. I think the record has been 2 days, but I still think about him 24/7. I actually dreamt about the ash collection two nights ago. I’m still waiting for him to make an appearance. I chalk it up to him having way too much fun across the bridge with the rottweilers that came before him or maybe the unresolved grief is blocking the connection. I keep looking for his signs that everyone keeps telling me he’ll send, but I just can’t seem to see them.

I ordered a cremation necklace a week ago. The ash collection kit should be here by tomorrow. It will be a while before I receive the necklace, but I will post pictures once it’s here. The artist who is making it seems like an amazing woman. She requests a picture with a description of what the pet was like and favorite memories, as well as music that I listen to. Maybe this will be the final piece I need for closure.

I miss him.

My absolute favorite picture of Odin and I.

 


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This entry was posted on Monday, October 2nd, 2017 at 1:27 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

3 Responses to “Fall is officially here….”

  1. juliedarling
    1:56 am on October 2nd, 2017      Reply

    Oh my dear!
    The pain, it’s the hardest thing ever. Besides my mom passing at an early age, losing my sweet boy is THE hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. Odin is with you. If he hasn’t sent you any signs, he will. I had to be patient as well. And the pain eases, but we never stop missing them. I’m crying now! That part never goes away. There isn’t a day that I don’t think about Buddy. I love it when I dream about him. At first it made me sad, but now it makes me happy. This part of the journey is horrible but you will become stronger it just takes time.

    Sending many healing hugs and prayers your way.

    xoxo
    Julie and Tripawd Alumni Spirit Buddy

  2. juliedarling
    1:56 am on October 2nd, 2017      Reply

    And Odin’s pics. JUST LOVE THEM. What a sweet boy and the pic of you with him as a puppy. PRICELESS! Thank you for sharing him with us.

  3. jerry
    11:51 pm on October 2nd, 2017      Reply

    Oh those sweet photos are just smooschable. You are taking all the important steps to heal, it just takes time but you are getting there (and yeah, more dog time with friends’ pups definitely helps as you know!)

    The memorial charms, art, and everything you need to process such great loss are such wonderful touchstones of her beautiful soul and the love you shared. That kind of powerful love never fades.

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