1 Turkey Short
Another month has come and gone. I’m stuck in the grief. I can’t seem to do what I need to do to move on. My mind still tells me he’s only gone for a little while and that he’ll be back soon. I brought this up to my therapist and she decided we should try EMDR to see if it will help me become unstuck. I’m hoping it works.
Thanksgiving went as well as it could without my big Turkey around. It was a very relaxed night with just my husband, daughter, mother, my mother’s friend, her daughter and I. I finally received an e mail from the lady who is doing my cremation necklace. Monday she will be starting the process. The necklace should be shipped on or before December 11th. It will be nice to have him near me as Christmas approaches. He was always my little helper when it came to setting up the tree and baking. He loved when I sang Christmas songs to him. I plan to sing them to Freya, but she just doesn’t show the same enthusiasm.
I didn’t think the first holidays would be this tough with out him. I guess I never thought I’d grieve as badly as I am. I find myself feeling as if no one gets it when I talk about how much I miss him. I tend to try and explain or justify the feelings. It’s as if I feel like I shouldn’t hurt so bad because he was ‘just a dog’ as society would say. But he wasn’t just a dog to me. He was everything. I shouldn’t care whether or not people get it. No one has ever given me any reason to think I should just get over it. Everyone knows how much he meant to me. Even people who don’t know me can see where I’m coming from. I’ve been told over and over that I don’t need to explain anything, they get it.
Grief is a very confusing thing.
This entry was posted on Saturday, November 25th, 2017 at 11:18 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
2:02 pm on November 26th, 2017
It IS confusing! And these ‘firsts’ without our beloved animals or humans don’t make things any easier.
But I think you are doing a great job working through it by sharing your thoughts, writing and acknowledging how much you hurt and are trying to deal with such tremendous loss. Keep at it and eventually you will find yourself in a place where your heart doesn’t hurt as much as it did just a few months earlier. Little by little it happens when you do what you’re doing.